"I'm Great at Faking it"
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What is “Mushfaking”? To understand that term we must first understand what a Discourse means.
According to James Paul Gee in his journal “Literacy,
Discourse, and Linguistics,” a Discourse is a sort of “identity kit” which
comes complete with the appropriate costume and instructions on how to act,
talk, and often write, so as to take on a particular role that others will
recognize. Furthermore, a Discourse is not something that can be acquired by “overt
instruction” but by learning and experiencing social practices with the
guidance of the people around you who have already mastered the Discourse. In
other words, what we have learned from our primary social groups such as our
family and peers when we were young will determine what Discourses we have now and
how well we mastered have it. But as we grew up, we are continually
experiencing new things in our life which can bring us to situations we are
unfamiliar with. When this happens, we perform a certain role we have not yet mastered.
This is called the “Mushfake Discourse” which means “partial acquisition
coupled with meta-knowledge and strategies to make-do.” In other words, you are
able to pretend you have learned an unmastered Discourse whenever necessary.
I can tell you that I am always mushfaking. Whether it
be at work, school, or with acquaintances, I always have to fake a Discourse. Even
right now, I am mushfaking in this blog. Ever since I was young, I am not very
vocal with my feelings and I struggle with making conversations. Making this
blog and pretending like I know what I am doing is quite ironic isn’t it? What
you probably did not know is that it took me a long time to get this blog to be
this long. With that being said, I would like to share you my biggest mushfake experience,
or so I remember.
So, you guys know how nerve-racking is the interview
process for a job right? During my interview for my third job, my interviewer
was all cheerful and friendly so I tried to be as cheerful as possible as well.
I tried to smile and nod as often as possible to whatever was being said, acted
optimistic, and during that time, I was able to make conversations longer than
I usually am able to. I also wore white pants and a light blue formal button-up
shirt tucked in to look decent. However, deep inside I was intimidated, my
energy was draining and all I could think of was “how long is this interview gonna
be?” I think that I went overboard that time as compared to my real personality
and I really felt that I was a different person, if that makes sense. But I
think that it paid off because I got the job right away. However, by the time I
started my first day, I kind of toned down my cheerful personality and went
back to being timid. I still have to fake my work Discourse though because I
don’t think I will survive if I become my real self at work. At work I am all smiles,
nice, very hardworking, I seldom complain, and always tell people I am “okay”. Basically, I am like the child in the picture above. At home I am a little lazy, still nice but I am more truthful with my feelings,
and expressive. If I get stressed at work and school, I only show it at home
and so sometimes I get irritable at home, so I like to spend time alone sometimes
to keep my stress levels low. Overtime, it gets easier to perform my “work role”
but it still is not the same as how I am outside of work.
Great post Mary!
ReplyDeleteI believe it doesn't matter if it has been the first or the tenth, interviews will always be nerve wrecking and stressful. I definitely could identify with having the same feeling of anguish and feeling like time going extremely slow. Bad as it sounds, I have found that having long interviews is actually a great sign. It means the interviewer is actually interested in you and is getting a better view of what kind of person they are hiring. I hope that working as a dietitian one day can allow you to be more like yourself. Take care Mary.
-Luis Dario Salas
I hate interviews. Sometimes I say too much, and sometimes I don't say enough. I never know who I need to be, and I feel like I'm always faking it. Fortunately, I haven't had a lot of interviews. Most of the jobs I've gotten, the employer already know me or someone recommended me. I feel very fortunate. Here at State, I worked an internship, and the department liked me so they kept me on.
ReplyDeleteHello Mary,
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate with you that I may always be mushfaking all the time around others when outside my home where nobody can see my true self. In every new social situation you end up in, you have to put up some kind of appearance in order to relate to others and break the ice. Perhaps everybody mushfakes by necessity. Not to intentionally deceive others, but in order to form the current bonds and connections we have now. I was like you when I was at my job interview. I imitated the cheerfulness of the other interviewees so that my chances of being hired would remain closely the same as them. And on the first week of work, the mushfake must remain going, until you get to know your coworkers and can genuinely form a camaraderie with them, essentially adopting a new Discourse separate from the fake. Mushfaking is essentially the first step to officially acquiring a new, unfamiliar Discourse, and even the first step to making new friends.
Hi Mary!
ReplyDeleteI am actually quite surprised how much I was nodding in agreement with this post. I have always been more quiet naturally, and vocalizing any and every feeling has always been an issue with me, even now. I find myself keeping things bottled up rather than possibly burdening someone. I also totally understand the feeling of faking it in an interview. I think sometimes it's best to mushfake during an interview, not because you want to "trick" an employer, but because you want them to see the "best" version of yourself. I also think mimicking her attitude and cheerfulness was actually a good idea, as that probably made her more comfortable.
Great post!
Yliana Alba
Hey Mary!
ReplyDeleteWow! It totally felt like I was reading my own thoughts. I have always been a very timid person too and have struggled to have to socialize with people for long periods of time. I am mushfaking it about ninety percent so I know the struggle you have to go through. I even just had my first ever interview for a club here at SDSU, and let me tell you I was MUSHFAKING it hardcore, and things worked out. I am glad we were both able to mushfake our ways through interviews, and good luck at your next one.
I think your thoughts on mushfaking are interesting. People are always going through a period of just pretending to get by until they actually learn to genuinely get past situations. Whether it be kids during their first day of school, teenagers during their first day in high school, people during their first semester at college. Maybe life is just a continuous process of mushfaking since everybody’s just trying to learn, in their own way, how to get by and how to fit in while still retaining a bit of themselves. I wonder if mushfaking really is essential to becoming part of society. In my personal opinion, I think it is. But objectively, is it really something that people need to always do? We always praise those who are unique or rebelling in some way. Some societal expectations are also changing, like rules on tattoos and attire are loosening up.
ReplyDeleteDo you feel that having to mushfake that time helped you socially (I hope my question doesn’t come across as rude since I went through the same thing)?
Hi Dana, thank you for your response. To answer your question, I feel like mushfaking is very essential and something that we need in our society not just to help us fit in with other people but also to develop the discourse we need depending on what situation we are in.
DeleteI don't think I've ever agreed with blog post more. I feel exactly the same way in interviews. Every interview I go to, I feel the same way that you did in your interview and right after I feel this sense of exhaustion right after leaving the interview. At the same time though, I think it helps with my Discourse so that eventually I'm not mushfaking it. It seems like because that's the way I present myself in the interview, that is how I feel like I need to be when I am at work. At first it's exhausting but after a while it just becomes part of who I am. Because of this, I just have to wonder was there ever a time when someone didn't mushfake their way through life in today's society, or in the past?
ReplyDelete